Writing - Character Development - Body Language and Show Don't Tell - Part Two

Having written yesterday's blog related to "anger" and using body language to show don't tell, I wanted to expound just a little more on facial expressions. Facial expressions, especially the eyes, create the most obvious and immediate cues to the formation of impressions related to that person's emotional feelings and/or mental thoughts.

And as stated earlier you have to give your readers some reason to care enough about your character to want to follow them all the way to the end of the book. Of course you need a good story as well as a great character. It isn't all about looks. Take a moment for introspection. Haven't you met a person that although physically attractive there was something about them that put you off? Something you just couldn't bring yourself to like? Perhaps it was their eyes, or a fake smile. Something about their general aura that made you want to put distance between yourself and them. And no matter how much you tried to like that person you just couldn't. You really just didn't care. In writing this isn't always a bad thing. If you create a character that readers dislike enough they may follow the story just in hopes this particular person gets what's coming to them.

On the opposite of that, haven't you met someone at some time that although perhaps not physically attractive you immediately felt drawn to them. Someone that you wanted to get closer to, get to know better?

It takes the whole package to create a believable, likeable or dislikeable character. I don't want to read a story about a handsome hulk with a wonderful physique. He has to have redeeming qualities also. Or vice versa, a beautiful woman who has no personality isn't going to interest me.

In the male category I often think of Jason Statham. He isn't the most handsome man I've seen in the movies, but he immediately drew me in. And it was his face that drew me in. That tinge of loneliness in his eyes. The tightened jaw that has a certain quality of gentleness to it. The desire to see him happy. Make him smile. I loved the first Transporter movie, although the others weren't that great in my opinion. What made me follow those movies was Jason Statham.

So what can faces tells us? We've already discussed anger, so let's discuss some other emotions.

Fear:

Cold sweat; pale face; dry mouth; refusing to meet the other person's eyes; damp eyes and trembling lips. Voice tremors, rapid pulse and/or heartbeat; tension in muscles; holding breath or ragged breaths.

Sadness:

General drooping of the body, trembling lips, tears, eyelids droop and corners of lips generally pull down.

Surprise:

Raised eyebrows, widening of eyes, open mouth, the upper eyelids and brows rise and the jaw drops open.

Happiness:

The corners of the mouth life in a smile, eyelids tighten and the cheeks rise. A genuine smile goes all the way to the eyes causing a certain lighting up of the eyes or twinkle in the eyes.

As you can easily see some facial expressions can be attributed to more than one emotion, and that's why it's important to designate your character's reactions in ways that your reader knows your character as well as you do. For example trembling lips can be attributed to both fear and sadness.

Some great descriptive sentences that at least for me, give you much more than just words.

Dean Koontz in One Door Away From Heaven: Her aunt, from whom fate had stolen everything except a reliable sense of humor . . .

This is Micky thinking as she sunbathes. What we get from this is a general internal description of her aunt. A person that although life has been cruel enough to leave poor still has the ability to laugh at her own problems. We get an internal look at the aunt, and at least for me she was someone I wanted to meet. Someone I wanted to know more about. There's no physical description and yet in my mind I could see her as I imagined her to be. And I could relate her to my own aunt or grandmother.

She wore her beauty with humility, but more impressively she kept her pedigree in her purse and never flashed it. . . .

A description by Noah of the Congressman's wife in Chapter 6. With a very few words, Mr. Koontz, has given us a beautiful woman whom we know to be wealthy, and of some importance, and most likely born into that importance. However, we can forgive her all of that as it apparently means nothing to her. We're ready to give her a chance to see if we can like her.

Providing for Laura was the reason that he worked, the reason that he lived in a low-rent apartment, drove a rustbucket, never traveled, and bought his clothes at warehouse-clubs. Providing for Laura was, in fact, the reason that he lived at all.

Noah again on page 129. This passage truly gives you insight into Noah's character, his ability to love someone more than himself, and sacrifice his own life to provide a life for them. It also hints at perhaps something we don't quite know yet - why does he feel so guilty, and what happened to Laura. All answers that we can only get by continuing to read.

You may wonder why I chose Dean Koontz for the example. Well, the answer to that is quite simple--I find him the master of using words in ways that describe far more than just scenery and physical attributes. Even if you're not a Koontz fan, I would urge every writer to read his work at some point. You never want to plagiarize another writer's work, but you can learn. Learn to use to words not just as flat descriptions, but in ways to bring your characters to life. Make them real people with real emotional feelings. Turn them into someone your readers want to follow wherever they go and whatever they do.

Writing - Character Development - Body Language and Show Don't Tell - Part One

Readers expect a great deal more than just words on a page. They want to become a part of the story. Be able to not only see the characters and the scenery, but also feel the love, hate, joy and emotional tension of every scene. Every character has a specific physical look, but they also have internal mechanisms that affect their physical appearance. For Part 1 we're going to take a look at Anger and the physical attributes that a character might express that will clue in the reader to the emotional status of the character. In other words, we're going to show the body language related to anger.

The word Anger is often used to describe a variety of emotions - resentment, wrath, rage, fury, passion, indignation, displeasure, vexation. Most of these are associated with a strong feeling of extreme displeasure accompanied by a desire to punish the object of your displeasure. Anger can be passive or aggressive. Today I'm going to focus on facial expression of anger.

Facial Expressions of Anger:

The face is a perfect indicator of human moods and emotions. And a perfect writing tool to emphasize the emotional turmoil or mood of your characters. Let's break it down.

Anger signs:

Eyebrows - Lowered eyebrows, pulled together to form wrinkles in the skin of the forehead

Eyelids - lower and upper eyelids tighten as brows knit together. Intense anger may cause the upper eyelids to raise

Eyes - eyes wide with fixed gaze or stare; squinted - a light tick at the corner of an eye usually following the tightening of the jaw muscles

Mouth - flattened or clenched; teeth bared

Jaw - tightened or jutting

Face color - red

Also keep in mind there are various degrees of anger. Your character may go from minor frustration to a slow boil, and then an all out fit of rage. Anger can also be evoked by other emotions such as fear, emotional pain and grief. Many times anger is expressed through words either screamed at the source of the anger, or soft-pitched words that are dangerous in their undertone.

Anger can be expressed and shown in many ways. It can be hot and explosive, or slow and seething. Anger can also be cold. A stiff and rigid back, a cold shoulder or soft words spoken in an icy manner. Ragged shallow breathing. Rapid heart beat. Anger can be shown through written passages, or heated dialogue.

So with this in mind, let's develop our character and his/her characteristic of anger. For the purpose of this demonstration I've chosen "Joe" a retired police officer now private investigator. Knowing this, we know that Joe most likely has dealt with angry people throughout his career and is an expert in recognizing the signs of anger, as well as an expert hopefully in controlling his own anger.

Example:

Marie handed Joe the current readout on Cosgrove. The report wasn't good, but she knew Joe would take it in stride. After all he wasn't a hotheaded teenager prone to fits of rage. A slight tremor of fear started in her stomach as his lips tightened and a dull red flush started at the base of his neck. She took a step backwards as the trembling hands holding the report slowly ripped it into tiny pieces.

Okay, now the scene above shows that Joe is getting angry. What appears to be a slow seething anger. We have the tightening of the lips and the dull red flush, and the slow ripping of the report. We then have Marie stepping backwards away from him. Of course, Marie stepping backwards could also be a sign that Joe at times has more of an explosive personality.

I personally see Joe as the slow, seething, soft icy word type.

Now you've developed your character's reactions to anger. You can change them throughout the story, however, you will need a clear explanation for you readers as to why his reactions change.


Check back tomorrow as we explore other emotions and body language.

A Grandmother's Poem - In memory of Caleb Gavin Fuson

A GRANDMOTHER’S POEM

In just a short moment,
you became the softness
beneath my smile,

In just a short moment,
you became the twinkle
in my eyes,

In just a short moment,
you were my dreams
of the future,

The things we would do,
The things I would teach you,
The things you would teach me
In just a short moment we shared,
A lifetime of love,

And then you were gone,
To sleep with the angels.

Can Children See Ghosts/Spirits?

I’ve often found this an interesting question, as my only true experience of actually seeing what I knew had to be a ghost occurred at the age of five. Many times I’ve observed children with “imaginary” play friends, and now that I think back on it wonder just how imaginary those friends really were.

Coby and I occasionally experience what appears to be some type of paranormal activity in our home. Not often, and usually not anything drastic, just little things that truthfully could be explained as normal most of the time. Once or twice in the last month I’ve actually felt like there was someone here. One of those weird feelings that someone is standing in the dining room, or in my office.

Occasionally my computers will come on by themselves, or go off. Going off isn’t a problem, as all computers shut down at times, but the turning on or switching windows isn’t all that normal.

Night before last we were sitting out front with the neighbors. The front door was open and the kitchen light was on giving an inner view of the living room and kitchen beyond. Our neighbors’ three year old little boy came up and sat in her lap. He kept staring at our door, and finally piped up: “There’s someone in your house and it’s a ghost.” I looked at his mother and she tried to shush him, telling him there wasn’t a ghost in our house. I’ve never heard our neighbor discuss ghosts or spirits, and little Ben has been to my house many times and never have I heard him mention ghosts. But he insisted that there was one in my house that night, and he’d seen “him”.

I don’t really know what type of TV Ben watches, but his mother is a kindergarten teacher, and both parents are rather strict on the boys leading me to believe it’s very doubtful that they’re watching the type of television shows that would lead to them believing in ghosts.

That night I kept hearing things in the back room, and after I went to bed I kept hearing noises like someone was walking up and down the hall. At one point I “felt” that someone was standing in the bedroom door, but I, of course, could see no one.

If children actually do see ghosts/spirits it would be interesting to study that field of the paranormal as to why. Is there something different about our eyes as children that allows us to see things we don’t see as adults? Do ghosts/spirits reveal themselves to children because they have no fear of rejection from children?

Most adults who have paranormal experiences immediately doubt what they’ve seen, and start making excuses for it. And if ghosts/spirits do reveal themselves to children, then that would mean they have control of who sees them and who doesn’t. Interesting theory, but only theory, as we have no scientific proof that ghosts/spirits even exist.

I have a site I’ve been monitoring now for several years. I think I’m going to make some video tapes of children at play, old birthday parties, etcetera and play it there next time I go. See if the laughter of children and their chatter has any effect on the paranormal activity in this area. It may not help, but as I’ve learned in the past—it can’t hurt.

So, what do you believe? Can children see ghosts/spirits?

October Special - Jacody Ives Mystery Series 99 Cents each

Check out the lastest review:

By Jim Fay - See all my reviews

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This review is from: The Gifts, A Jacody Ives Mystery (Jacody Ives Mysteries) (Kindle Edition)
I really liked this book. But although this is the first one written about Jacody Ives, there is a recently released a prequel titled "Sacred Secrets." That's the book to start with.

"The Gifts" is a supernatural mystery thriller. I'd like to say I couldn't put it down, but honestly, I don't read that fast and I do need sleep at night and still have to go to work each day. So it took me a few days to read it. But it was a fun ride, and the suspense kept me wanting to know what happened next.

I hope it's not too long before Prather's next book. I'm hooked. Unless something unexpected happens, I will read anything she writes.

The Gifts, A Jacody Ives Mystery


Sacred Secrets, A Jacody Ives Mystery

Writing - Show Don't Tell

Sounds simple doesn’t it? After all it is one of the very first rules of writing. Every beginning author hears it countless times. “I like your idea, but you need to show not tell.” Okay, so you’re scratching your head and asking yourself, what the heck does that mean? I’m telling a story, so what do you want me to show you?

Unfortunately, critiques often offer this type of advice, with little input of what the critiquer (is that really a word?) wants you to do. They want you to do what every great author does—allows you to travel with the characters, see what they see, feel what they feel, and share the passion, the love, the fear, the majestic journey from page 1 all the way to the end of the book. It isn’t enough that you’ve written a great story, unless your readers can see, feel and live that story through your characters eyes.

Copyright laws will prohibit me from publishing some of what I truly felt was the most beautifully artistic showing/not telling writing that I have had the opportunity to read. Okay, I know, you read my earlier review of this book and you know I haven’t been able to really finish reading it. That has nothing to do with the fact that the author is a master at showing and not telling.

In Dean Koontz “One Door Away From Heaven” there’s a scene where young Curtis and his dog are fleeing from the people trying to kill them. In reading this chapter you’ll not only see what Curtis sees, you’ll feel his tension, his fear, his desperation and his tiredness as he runs further and further. You’ll basically have the opportunity to see the stars, feel the thudding of his feet, and truly become young Curtis in his flight. That’s mastery of showing/not telling. You want to create not just a scene, but a vivid visual mood with rhythm that propels the reader on to the next scene.

The majority of people experience some type of visual perception of thoughts, words and emotions. The books I enjoy the most are the ones that are almost movie-like in their approach to showing. I use my imagination to create the pictures, but the author has laid the groundwork for those images, moods and rhythm I’m going to follow.

My first draft is usually far from the standard of “show don’t tell”. It is a basic draft or outline of the complete story. Only when it’s finished do I go back in and see where I fell short.

Rhythm and mood can be accomplished not only through vivid scenery, and descriptive characters, but also punctuation. I look at each sentence from the standpoint of “am I really feeling this” or “how could I say it better?” And then I start my rewrite. My foundation is there – the complete story. I know that story by heart, but my readers won’t. I love my characters, but unless I give the reader a reason to love them they may find them somewhat lacking. So my rewrite is basically a spruce it up, musical exercise in rhythm. Do my words flow or does a reader have to stop and wonder why there’s a comma there?

Every author, especially beginning authors should spend as much time reading as you do writing. Read everything you can. Study the author’s style, their word expressions. Does it work for you? Can you feel it? If yes, then study their punctuation style, and notice the rhythm of the sentences. That doesn’t mean you want to adapt your style to the author’s style. If it isn’t truly “your” style it simply won’t work for you. And the best way to learn this lesson is to join a critique group. Not for your own work so much, but so that you read the work of other writers and try to help them make it better. By seeing the mistakes you feel they’re making, you’ll more easily recognize your own mistakes. Once again – every author should spend as much time reading as writing.

First, let me say up front I’m no Dean Koontz. I’m still learning, and will be learning I’m sure for years to come. But in expressing an example of show don’t tell I’m going to share an excerpt from Sacred Secrets. If I had the first draft available for this scene you would understand the rewrite. Basically the rough draft detailed her finding the article, a few tears, blah, blah, blah. That wasn’t what I wanted to convey. I wanted to convey the depth of her feelings. “. . .until she came to one that froze her fingers, stilled the beating of her heart.” Hopefully I accomplished just a little of that. All of us at one time have seen, heard, or experienced something that made us pause, only to find ourselves involuntarily moving toward that scene. Real life. And in showing real life experiences are the best.

Sitting forward again Katie altered her search, typing in Dr. James Arthur and Camp Hope. The page came up quickly, showing entries one through ten of 1,210,000. Okay, so it wasn’t going to be easy. Undaunted she scanned the first page, reading through the descriptions until she came to the one that froze her fingers, stilled the beating of her heart. Her finger moved involuntarily on the mouse, double clicking on the article. Warm brown eyes gazed out at her. Eyes she remembered.
The article was a beautiful memorial to the young man who had devoted his life to helping terminally ill children. His struggle to get other doctors involved, bring the children together to share their frustration, anger and hurt. A one-man crusade for organ donation.
Katie wiped the tears from her face as she continued to read. It was all there. The camp. Even the huge oak tree outside the main building. The house at Twelve-ten Chantilly Lane. The only difference--it was in Pendleton, Oregon, not Washington. And it had all been destroyed by fire twenty-five years ago.
Grief rippled through her as she read how Dr. Arthur had sacrificed his life in an effort to save a young woman trapped on the second floor of his home. A young woman in a wheelchair. A twelve-year-old heart patient named Clover Bottoms.
A smiling photo of Frank Davis flashed on the screen as the article detailed the bravery of the young camp volunteer that had followed Dr. Arthur into the fire with no thought for his own safety.
Katie heard the sobs, not realizing they were coming from her. Deep painful sobs that twisted her insides, exposing raw nerves, cramping her muscles. She bent forward, rocking back and forth as tortured moans escaped her lips.
“Follow your heart, Katie.”

If you’ve ever suffered true grief, the kind that cramps your muscles, and causes you to bend forward, rocking back and forth—you totally understand how Katie feels in this scene. And even if you haven’t suffered that type of grief, you may have seen it.

Showing and not telling isn’t as simple as it sounds. You need to use a combination of visual moods, emotions, body language and punctuation. However, the more you place your scene as a “real life” scene, visualize it in your mind, the easier the concept will be to you, and the easier it will be to make your characters and your story come to life.

Washington Mutual, J. P. Chase, FDIC and Providian - A consumer question

Since the failure of Washington Mutual and seizure by the FDIC on 8/25/08 consumers have asked questions to no avail. Now consumers are asking even more questions, and attempting to trace their assets. I have a legitimate question for all of them in that I'd love to know how J. P. Chase wound up with Providian Financial accounts in this matter, as according to records on file, Providian Financial ceased to exist in March of 2009 after merger into New American Capital, Inc.

New American Capital, Inc. was not part of Washington Mutual's direct or indirect subsidiaries in their SEC filings for early 2008. This led me to do some additional research into what actually happened to Providian Financial. New American Capital, Inc was a Delaware corporation, so I started my search there. On 11/1/07 - a little less than one year before the FDIC seizure, New American Capital, Inc. was merged into Mercer Acquisition, LLC a Nevada Corporation. Providian Financial accounts would have followed this merger. I contacted the Nevada Division of Corporations and Mercer Acquisition, LLC was dissolved immediately after the merger with New American Capital, Inc.

Dissolved. So what happened to the Providian Financial accounts? And why is J. P. Chase claiming ownership, and collecting on these accounts? Sure, Washington Mutual by merger received the Providian National Bank accounts, but my understanding of this corporate hierarchy was the Providian Financial also owned accounts, including credit card accounts.

I read another consumer question this morning related to another "subsidiary" that appears to have disappeared prior to the seizure also. Perhaps someone out there has answers, but the public is being kept in the dark by everyone concerned in this matter, and the citizens of the United States who had placed their trust and confidence in these organizations are the ones who have suffered losses related to the failure of Washington Mutual Bank, the Purchase and Assignment agreement between the FDIC and J. P. Chase (which as of August 30, 2010 was still not finalized)and the bankruptcy filing of Washington Mutual, Inc. It's definite to the American public, if not to regulators, that there indeed had to be some subterfuge and collusion between these organizations. Anyone with common sense would know a bank isn't seized on one day, sold on basically the same day, and bankruptcy filed the next day by a corporation as huge as Washington Mutual, Inc. without there having been some collusion between these organizations.

The American public wants answers, and I believe it's time for one or more of these companies to provide those answers.

I intend to spend some time in the near future researching all the subsidiaries of WAMU and WMI prior to their seizure. Wonder how many were actually merged out and dissolved, or sold? And wonder where the proceeds from those mergers, acquisitions or sales went? Bet all the misplaced workers who stand to lose their pensions, stock holders, investors and depositors would also like to know that information.